Mother Theresa Quote

I heard a quote at a meeting this week that is really helping me. It's something Mother Theresa said. Basically, she said that God didn't call her to be successful; He called her to be faithful.

The reason that struck me so hard is that, being a perfectionist, I've been going through the steps trying to do them perfectly. I've gotten frustrated at times, both with the program and just in life, that no matter how hard I try, sometimes I just fall short. Okay, not just /sometimes/ more like most of the time.

I can't put my finger on exactly why, but the Mother Theresa quote really spoke to me and brought peace to my soul. I realized it doesn't matter so much what the outcome is. It doesn't matter if I'm perfect. But to stand in front of the Lord someday and say I was faithful, I did what He asked me to do, that is what's important.

It goes back to the Serenity Prayer, which I'm sure most people have heard even if they don't know anything about AA. It says:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

There really is serenity in not stressing over things you have no control over. I can control certain aspects of things, but I don't really have control over the outcome, how people react to what I'm doing, etc.

My Life Has Become Unmanageable

Step One is to

"admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome addictions and that your life has become unmanageable."

I'm sure there are different ways people find the Addiction Recovery Program, but for me, I had basically "done step one" before I even looked up the meeting times. That's why I finally went--because I could see that my life had become unmanageable and that I wasn't able to hold it together anymore. I needed help.

Some people probably go to meetings because someone else drags them there, or maybe there are other reasons why they haven't done step one yet, but I'm guessing that just going to a meeting pretty much qualifies as step one for most people.

Still, it was good to go through the step, reading each part carefully and writing answers to the questions at the end of the chapter.

One of the quotes that stood out to me in particular was when Boyd K. Packer says, "the study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior."

This program focuses on the solution and not on the problem. I was a little surprised at first, but I'm grateful now, that pretty much no one talked about their loved ones' addictions to any great extent at any of the meetings I went to. They talked about how the program is bringing them closer to Christ and bringing peace into their lives.

And that's really what it's all about. My husband isn't any closer to letting go of his addictions than he was when I started, but as I follow the steps, I'm finding more peace in my own life. I'm still a long way from being addiction-free myself, but I'm hopeful that the closer I get to the spirit and the more I turn my life over to Christ, the more strength I will have to overcome these issues in my life.